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7
Votes
The Doctor
I went to a child psychologist for years. The little guy didn't help me at all.
Added by Billy - 12/10/13 - 0 Comments
4
Votes
Grandmothers will
In her will my grandmother said she wanted to be buried with all of her possessions, her cat wasn't to happy about that
Added by Tyler D - 10/23/13 - 0 Comments
-1
Votes
Sneezing
Knock Knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Hah ha, made ya sneeze!
Added by Molly - 01/10/13 - 0 Comments
-6
Votes
Yo mama so dumb
Yo mama so dumb that when she missed the 44 bus she took the 22 bus twice
Added by Flowergirl - 07/23/12 - 0 Comments
6
Votes
Water Balloon Fight
Every saturday morning in our neighborhood we would have this huge water balloon fight. And every friday night I would put mine in the freezer, So, I'd win. After that all the mother's in the neighborhood would take turns spanking me... it was awesome!
Added by Nilly - 07/12/12 - 0 Comments
8
Votes
Smacked Around
I used to get smacked around by these green berets that lived in our neighborhood. Some people call them girl scouts, whatever. The morning of my 16th birthday my whole family tried to surprise me with a car.... but they missed
Added by Nilly - 07/12/12 - 0 Comments
13
Votes
I'm the youngest
I'm the youngest in my family i was always getting beaten up by the two oldest.... Mom and dad
Added by Nilly - 07/12/12 - 0 Comments
8
Votes
Im NOT drunk
A man gets pulled over by a police car after a drunk night out with some friends, cop: "sir are you drunk?" man: "no! why would you think that!?" cop: "okay, (holds out hand) papers" man: "SCISSORS! I WIN!"
Added by Louise tomlinson - 07/12/12 - 0 Comments
5
Votes
I wasnt THAT drunk
Man: "i wasnt THAT drunk..." friend: "dude, you were in my closet screaming "WHERE THE F*** IS NARNIA!?" man: "O.O"
Added by Louise tomlinson - 07/12/12 - 0 Comments
-6
Votes
Rapping about nice things
Why can't rappers rap about nice things? YEAH GIRL IMMA TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND put them in the closet for you cause it's polite. YEAH BABY THAT'S RIGHT IMMA PICK YOU UP AND carry you to the bed cause i know you tired. OH GIRL IMMA SLAP DAT broom out of your hand because you've had a long day at work, and I can do it myself.
Added by Fluffyz - 07/06/12 - 0 Comments
-1
Votes
Yo mama so fat
Yo mama so fat when she fell down the stairs, my auntie thought eastenders had just finished
Added by Flowergirl - 06/30/12 - 1 Comments
17
Votes
TWINKIE WRAPPER
So this ten year old boy finds this used condom on the beach and shows his dad.(little boy says) "Look what I found on the beach Dad! What is it?" (dad says) "Um.... Son, it is an old twinkie wrapper!" (little boy says) "Good! Because I licked out ALL of the left over frosting!!"
Added by Ted - 05/22/12 - 0 Comments
-15
Votes
You Wanna Know Whats Messed Up and Funny?
YOU WANNA KNOW WHATS MESSED UP AND FUNNY? YOU'RE FACE!!!!! YEAH!!! THAT'S RIGHT!!!
Added by UP YOURS - 05/22/12 - 0 Comments
7
Votes
Mike Hawk
SAY THIS 5 TIMES: Mike Hawk Hurts
Added by Mike Hawk - 05/22/12 - 0 Comments
7
Votes
Mike Oxlong
Mike Oxlong
Added by Jakota - 04/23/12 - 0 Comments
3
Votes
LOL. Perv.
Say this fast 5 times: I won a maths debate. Think smart (:
Added by Katt - 02/28/12 - 0 Comments
-11
Votes
What is Love
"What is love?" asks the little girl Her big brother responds - "Love is when you keep stealing my chocolate bar, from my backpack every morning before school, and I still keep it in the same place."
Added by Hojo414 - 02/19/12 - 0 Comments
30
Votes
Lie Detector Robot
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. So he decides to try it out at dinner.  DAD: Son, where were you today during school?  SON: At school *robot slaps son*  SON: Ok, I went to the movies.  DAD: Which one?  SON: Toy Story *robot slaps son again*  SON: Ok, it was A Day with a Porn Star.  DAD: WHAT?! When I was your age, I didn't even know what porn was. *Robot slaps dad*  MOM: HAHA!! After all he is your son, *Robot slaps mom*
Added by AndyMan - 02/19/12 - 1 Comments
-18
Votes
Don't buy one
What drives men crazy? A preius! (the car)
Added by Carz - 02/13/12 - 0 Comments
-11
Votes
Carz
What do you call an honest car? A lincoln.
Added by Carz - 02/13/12 - 0 Comments
-12
Votes
Funny jokes
What happened to the guy who lost his case? He couldn't find it.
Added by Don't lose a case - 02/13/12 - 0 Comments
25
Votes
When I was little
Am i the only one thats done this ? 1) Walked into a room, forgot what you needed, walked out, and then remembered. 2) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. 3) Thought the shape of a real heart was actually "♥" 4) Closed the fridge door really slow, just to see when the lights went off...
Added by JimmerF - 01/29/12 - 0 Comments
12
Votes
Getting Lectured
"Be careful who you're calling a child, Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and get lectured by a pervert." -Peter
Added by Peter Griffen - 01/29/12 - 0 Comments
-13
Votes
Girl Moaning
I heard this girl's sex moaning from my window, and in my very best Mortal Kombat voice I yelled, "FINISH HERRRR!" Then I heard spontaneous laughing SCORE.
Added by Karl Strauss - 01/29/12 - 0 Comments
4
Votes
Taken Something Apart
Have you ever taken something apart, had a look inside, then carefully put everything back only to realize you've got some bit left over? ...that's sort of why I'm not a surgeon anymore ;)
Added by Susie Q - 01/29/12 - 0 Comments
-14
Votes
Handy Life Hacks
1• When a zipper is facing down, it can be zipped and unzipped. Flip it to face up, and it's in lock position, try it! 2• If you can't kill a fly, spray it with Windex and it won't be able to fly anymore! 3• Itchy mosquito bites? Put some white out on them - it stops the itch. 4• Want to eat less? Use your non-dominant hand. 5• A cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing should go away.
Added by Kimmy - 01/29/12 - 0 Comments
-20
Votes
Funny
Mike hawk hurts............ice bank myself........td bank
Added by Iamsofakingweetooddi - 01/18/12 - 0 Comments
-15
Votes
Alex Blaine Layder
Say "Alex Blaine Layder" over and over
Added by Tim - 10/09/11 - 0 Comments
6
Votes
Eye 1 2 4 Q
Say "Eye 1 2 4 Q". Fast, over and over again.
Added by Hippo - 10/09/11 - 1 Comments
28
Votes
I won the Math Debate
Say "I won the Math Debate" while holding your tongue
Added by Slick - 10/09/11 - 0 Comments
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